Take any run-of-the-mill conspiracy theorist, shoot him or her up with crystal meth daily for a year and you’ll wind up with a pretty good approximation of Commander X—still, you could never improve upon the perfection of the original. In this, his two-volume magnum opus, the Commander offers up for the less demanding reader a farrago of startling notions and beliefs, unlikely chronologies, urban myths cloaked in the robes of True Fact, thrilling accounts of Those Who Went Too Far, and justifications for every kind of nitwittery per-petrated in print during the last 50 years.
Whenever the Commander wants to make especially noteworthy points—once or twice a page, on average—he hits “shift” and caps everything for paragraphs at a time, making you feel as if a stranger is sitting next to you on the subway, bellowing in your ear about his fillings. When you read that in 1979 “66 Americans [were] killed by [neosauroid] alien Grays” you imagine, fleetingly, that the Commander might choose to offer some proof along with his proposition, if only accidentally, but no such luck. No matter—if you see it in print, it must be true. Occasional lapses in spelling—”swine flue,” for example, or “glasnose”—in no way damage the reader’s appreciation of the Commander’s inimitable efforts. Text is printed on only one side of each page, making it look as if the reader is getting twice as much material as is really there. Bound in a sturdy electrical-tape-like substance. In short, a winner.
Publisher: Inner Light
Paperback: 75 pages